The Anti-Tweeting Blog

I finished the ketchup and threw it in the trash. I decided that I did not want to rinse it out and recycle it. It just seemed like too much trouble. I feel really bad.

I left a little coffee in the cup for several days on my desk and now it has a really bad brown ring on it. I need to buy Ajax to make this easier to scrub.

Kiwis were on sale at the supermarket so I bought six and put them in a paper bag to ripen. I forgot about them and now they are rotting on my kitchen table.

I'm going to gas station where by paying in cash you get a 3 cent discount. But I'm all out of cash so I'm using my credit card instead.

I have to make an important phone call so I am thinking about what to say. I have a plan now.

A noise emanated from the garage. The washing machine had become unbalanced so I moved the laundry and restarted the machine.

While concentrating my mental faculties on this blog I thought I heard a knock at the door. Alas, it was only a stray dog. I attempted to refocus myself but found it difficult.

I did not make the bed in the morning. It is almost six pm and I was thinking of making it now but realized I would be going to sleep in a few hours so thought better of the whole matter.

I have noticed recently that my oven's temperature is distinct from its control. I have acquired a thermometer and will be taking some time to calibrate it today.

The warm weather is causing the grass to grow quickly. It will need to be cut soon. My son will perform this duty.

I was about to step out for the day when I noticed a slight crease in the collar of my white dress shirt. I have decided to use a steam iron to flatten it.

I awoke this morning to a message that my computer software was out of date. I am watching the download progress bar creep across the screen.

Dirty dishes left on my bedroom floor have attracted black ants. They are crawling from the window sill to the empty bowl in which I consumed my oatmeal.

I have been informed that today is Memorial Day and that the Postal Service does not deliver. I gone indoors to continue with my other duties.

The postal carrier usually arrives by 12:30. It's 12:42 and he has not arrived. He must be running behind.

I didn't clean the rain gutters this fall. Now it's raining and the water is flowing over the edges because the drains are clogged.

The drain still has an unpleasant odor. Perhaps some sodium bicarbonate will neutralize the sulfurous smell.

Every time I brush my teeth I get a whiff of the bathroom drain and it smells like a sewer. I'm pouring some vinegar down now to clean it out.

I hate it when the toilet paper comes off the roll from underneath. I pull it and it just keeps coming and doesn't tear. I'm changing it.

I always thought the "Best before date" really meant I had a week to go. The milk has gone sour and is beginning to get all lumpy.